Relationships these days are so black and white… What happened to the GREY AREA? Ya know, the grey area between becoming a fully committed couple, and friends who enjoy having sex with each other.
You can love someone, and have a deep connection with them without being in a fully committed relationship. The titles screw everything up. Just be two people… and that’s it!
Two people who like to spend time together, as well as time apart. Two people who enjoy having spontaneous rambunctious sex with each other, but your attachment free. Two people who want to live their own life, but have that special someone that they know will always be there. No matter what happens, they are your best friend when you need one. They one person who accepts you for EXACTLY who you are!
Just two people, that love each other from a distance, until time weaves you together naturally. REAL relationships, that have substance and meaning. Are not something that you should ever rush into and force. That is why the NON RELATIONSHIP is perfect. The connection is there, the love is there, but there is no title to live up to.
Non Relationship... No Naked Flying Baby With Arrows Needed!!!
Once the titles come into play, people suddenly change, have you noticed that? When you first start seeing someone, when everything is fresh and new, that is when it is at it’s most exciting.
The first time you kiss, the first time you REALLY kiss, and the first time you have sex, after building up all that sexual tension kissing.
You’re not dating, but your not tied down to each other, you just ARE! Suddenly, one decides that the relationship should move to the next level. Let me stop there for a second, what does that even mean? If you have something special with someone, that is always exciting, why try to fix what isn’t broken. Those titles are a killer, and there is one main explanation for that.
People think that once there is a title attached, things should be a certain way. When you are “BOYFRIEND/GIRLFRIEND” you can’t sleep with other people, you have to ask before hanging out with your friends, before you do ANYTHING, you have to check with your BF/GF to make sure they haven’t pre made plans for you.
Suddenly, you start spending everyday together, and all the first aren’t special anymore. The fighting starts, the sex starts to suck, and the things that come next suck. Someone cheats, someone ends it, and you are left with heartbreak and depression.
So now lets go back to BEFORE the title… It was exciting, fun, and the connection was strong! That is the benefit of a NON RELATIONSHIP! You get to have the AMAZING sex, you get to miss each other and eagerly wait the next time you see each other.
A NON RELATIONSHIP, is much more that just friends with benefits, cause there is a deep connection and maybe even love there. But when you are young, mainly in your 20′s, you need to discover who you are and who you want to be. Relationships can all too often be a distraction to your growing process. When the time is right, the NON RELATIONSHIP will drop the NON…
Don’t force things to happen, just let the happen naturally. Like I said, you can have a bond with someone, without the titles. When the time is right, and you are BOTH ready, things will just fall into place. The best relationships are built off a foundation of deep friendship, attachment free NON RELATIONSHIPS, can help build that foundation…
Every couple is different, I am not saying that NON RELATIONSHIPS will work for everyone. Those who are very insecure, jealous and needy, probably would hate this idea. But for those of you like me, who are just looking for someone to run with… A NON RELATIONSHIP, can work perfectly. Until the time is right to drop the NON…
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3 Responses to “The Non Relationship: No Titles Allowed!”
Relationships ARE part of the growing process
I thought I wanted to be married and have kids by the time I was 25…. Almost happened too. But I loved, hurt, and grew from it. Now, at 30, I know me better and love me more than I ever have. Loving is living, sister. Xoxo.
Kristi,
Great post. You have presented a perspective on relationships that many people enjoy but few talk about openly. That freedom can we wonderful and yes, it can be so exciting when you both connect, because you both want to at that time.
However, there are drawbacks. YOU may want to be with the other person just when they have planned a weekend trip, with someone else. One of you may develop an STD and inadvertently share it with the other. If there is truly a non-relationship, can you ever make plans with friends to double date or attend a party together?
If you are sharing your most private self with another person, eventually one of you may develop deeper, more romantic “love” feelings. Most relationships change, at some point. Maybe this non-relationship partner will one day fall in love with someone else and you will lose your non-partner.
But if you are truly free about love relationships, you will probably have several non-relationships at the same time – which can become time consuming and even confusing. This is one way to maintain a sense of passion and desire and anticipation in your life and your relationships.
DrErica
^^^ ya what she said!