Now, there are contributing factors to whether or not friendship can be established. Who dumped who can often make a difference, and if there was cheating done by one or both. If you dated each other, going down a notch to friend’s should never be hard…

I mean chances are, the two of you shared bodily fluids of some kind at some point. There were probably many good times shared, and a lot of those surly out weigh all the bad time. Typically, with a break up must come two things. Time and Distance!

You both are going to need time to heal in your own way and time. Men heal differently than women, so ladies keep that in mind. He is not going to be ready to even talk to you for a little while. let alone try and be friends.

There needs to be, in my opinion, at LEAST a month or two of distance. Obviously something happened that was serious enough to make one of you break your commitment to the other one. now if it was mutual, staying friends with an ex should be much easier.

Taking those couple months apart will allow the two of you to understand what happened. There is a lesson to be learned with each experience, good and bad. Two months may not be long enough to learn the lesson, and that is perfectly okay. This short distance form your ex will however, give you more of a perspective on the break up. Perhaps a more positive one.

Both of you need to understand why the relationship ended, accept it, and move on. The reason ex’s have issues being friends, is that they never let go of the break up and the bad times they had in the relationship. But if you want the stay friends with your ex, you going to have to get over all that.

It’s not a hard thing to do, unless–like I said –the break up was a bad one. In that case, friendship would most likely not happen for a long while if at all. All I am saying is that staying friends with an ex IS possible.

Anything is possible!!!

If You Are Already Friends With You Ex, But You Want To Be More With Them Once Again… I Have Just The Thing You Need! The Magic Of Making Up Has Everything You Need To Get Your Ex Back!!!

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The “Some” I am talking about, are mainly of the female gender. For some reason, girls seem to get crazy jealous over just about anything.

Most of that jealousy is aimed towards other females. Why? Well there can be many contributing factors… I can only think of five right of the top of my head. But I consider these to be the TOP 5 reasons for female jealousy!

1. Physical Appearance.
2. Material Possessions.
3. Circle of Friends.
4. Significant Other.
5. Personality Traits.

Whatever the reason may be, there is always a reason of some kind. Females always find a reason to be jealous. It almost seems as though females LOVE being jealous, like it is their favorite emotion or something. Personally, I find it to be extremely pointless.

Jealousy is a sickness! Instead of worrying about what someone else does with their life, instead of hating on them for what they have. Focus on yourself and make accomplishments of your own. Whether it be in fitness, your job, or whatever else.

Living in the age we live in, the internet age. With social networking sites like Facebook, it makes it very easy for females to get catty with each other. A jealous female can get to whoever it is she is jealous of with ease.

Mean comments are made, private messages wars are started. Before you know it, you will have spent an hour arguing with someone who just seriously needs to get well from her jealousy sickness.

If you are the one being BITCHED at for who knows what–take it from me– there is no reasoning with a female sick with jealousy. No matter what you do, no matter what you say. They will always come back with things like “Bitch” and “Fuck You” every time.

I had a run in with this very situation today… Hence, the reason this very blog post. I’ll give you a little back story…

I have have this very good friend, we will call him Bobby. I have known him for roughly 9 years, and I consider him to be one of my closest friends. Bobby has this girlfriend, She has been around for maybe a year… We will call her Jezebel. Jezebel is insanely jealous and borderline psychotic about the friendship between Bobby and I. Now, I get the feeling that her new mission in life is to end that friendship…

Perhaps "Borderline" is undertstating her pshychotic nature...

This conversation of Facebook comments was tiring to say the least. The ones from her were entertaining, don’t get me wrong. But I do not like to deal with this nonsense. So I am happy that she blocked me!

The moral of this blog post… Jealousy is a sickness. One that you cannot use antibiotics to get rid of. It takes time to mature past this horrible sickness, but the person affected has to WANT to mature past it…

Till next time,

Kristi Riley OUT!

Jealousy is a SICKNESS! It is one sickness where YOU have to be the doctor… Here is a prescription to an EXCELLENT form of medication. Follow the instructions for proper intake and pretty soon BAM!  NO MORE JEALOUSY!!!

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The trees are bare, it’s cold, and the better majority of outdoor activities and joys must be put on hold. Now, you would think–what with the cold weather an all– that people would want to be in a relationship… To have Someone to cuddle with during cold nights.

This is just not the case. The holidays are over, the bills and debt from the holidays bring stress. Stress is not good for a person when they are in a relationship… Mainly because they bring that stress INTO the relationships, more specifically the dump it in.

January breakup month… Why is it that people breakup more in January that any other month. Think about it. The new year has started and it is a time for reflection. The new year triggers the want for new beginnings. New resolutions are made.

I personally think that Valentines Day is partially to blame for the January Breakups. People want to spend that day with someone they love, or at least like. If the person they are currently with no longer falls under those requirements, they’ve got to go.

If a relationship is not working out, and there is no possible way it can ever be fixed and put back on the tracks. If you made it through the holidays, but still the love is gone… A January breakup is inevitably bound to happen.

So they decide January–the breakup month–would be perfect to do the deed. That gives both parties enough time to find a new “Someone Special” for Valentines Day. Given that the breakup is a clean one, and not all jagged and messy.

Trust me, I know how some breakups can go. Somtimes, the breaker upper pulls a Houdini. Leaving their heart broken mess of an ex lover, dumbfounded on the floor. It can be hard. Hell, it can really suck. But a lesson is still there… To be learned in time.

It is going to hurt for a while, but in time you will learn that lesson and you may even meet new people. Some of them will come into your life to help you through something, others will come into your life and stick around for a while. Still, they are new faces.

For those of you who are still in your relationships, chances are you are in the green. January is coming to a close. To those of you who fell victim to January breakup month, I am truly sorry.

Look forward to new starts and adventures. Single is not all that bad. Newly single, and ready for new experiences. perhaps some familiar ones as well, but with a new perspective. You have all the time in the world to do whatever you want. The best part, you don’t have to worry about anybody but YOU! As I always say… YOU are the most important people in YOUR life.

With everything in life, comes good and bad. Focus on the good!

If your January breakup is to much for you to handle… If you honestly and truly feel that there is still hope for your relationship. DO SOMETHING BOUT IT! Do not just sit on your ass and “Hope” things will get better. MAKE them better! All you need is a little MAGIC!

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The cliche valentines day bullshit has got to stop! Flowers, Candy, Balloons… There is nothing romantic about getting the same crap every other girl on the planet is going to be getting! Yet, every year this is what is expected.

FELLAS! You are being deceived! Hoodwinked and Bamboozled!!! Valentines day is a sham, a total sham. This probably sounds funny coming from someone with a vagina, but the valentines day truth must be revealed.

In my opinion, valentines day was invented by the flower and candy companies. They got together. Had a meeting. And they decided to team up and bleed hard earned money from men. They want your whole paychecks guys!

A single rose isn’t going to cut it, nope! You going to need at least a dozen! And Don’t even think about getting the small box of chocolates. Your going to need to buy the BIG one, filled with enough chocolate to last till June.

So lets dive on into this L&T shall we…

• Lie: Valentines day must consist of constant endearing ooey gooey proclamations of love. Mainly “I love you.”

• Truth: An “I love you” in the morning, one in the middle of the day perhaps and one before bed is plenty.

I don’t know why women need to hear “I love you” A MILLION times on valentines day. If you man has said it once, and if he is still with you. I am sure he will let you know if things change. Moving right along with more valentines day truth…

• Lie: Over the top plans are expected. Filling their care with balloons and confetti. Fancy dinners and sold out shows.

• Truth: A simple dinner. Go to some off beat place that won’t be busy… Watching the sun set would also be very simple sweet and peaceful.

You don’t need to make reservations to some 5 star place, and you don’t have to buy tickets to outrageous events. To be perfectly honest. Doing something unique to her, would be way more romantic. Surprise her with her favorite activity.

• Lie: Diamonds mean you love her. Ring ring form, earring form, or any other form.  Diamond jewelry is a must.

• Truth: Diamond are rocks. They are pretty rocks, but they are rocks none the less. Find a more meaningful gift.

Yes, those jewelery companies spent a lot of time and money making those commercials. That doesn’t mean you have to buy into them. Buying,or even making, a more personal gift is a much better choice. Stay away from the cliche!

The truth could be kept from you no longer. The valentines day truth must be shared, so it can get passed on and become public knowledge. People, we spend enough money on useless crap every year. You know you do it. Why celebrate a day DEDICATED to it? That makes no sense…

The valentines day truth is that you don’t have to do what is expected. In fact, you shouldn’t do whats expected. Don’t follow the traditions created by society and media. Make your own traditions, be unique. Do things that are way out of left field!

<3 Get Memorable & Romantic Valentines Day Ideas! <3

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I came up with Sexual Math… B(Boy) G(Girl) S(Sex)

B + G = S

B + 2G = 3S

G + 2B = 3S

There are many more sexual equations I could have come up with, but I will leave that up to my readers. I am sure you can use your imaginations. So yes, sexual math is the topic for today. I am rather excited about this one!

Not quite sure how to start this one, as it was organically born from my random key stroking. Hahaha, KEY STROKING! That must be what girl computers do to boy computers. Anywhoo! Lets get down to business here.

Let me start off by saying that sexual math is not a class you will find at your local community college. No, sexual math is something your brain starts doing when your eyes a sexual opportunity. You start calculating equations, with the best outcome.

Things just start rushing through your brain, sexually mathematical things. Each person is different, and the equations they come up with will be as well. Some people may even share their sexual math equations with their friends.

Both men AND women do this. Yes, ladies. You do this. Now, depending on the situation at hand. Variables may need to be added. These variables can include: Beer, Wine, Alcohol… Ect. So for example. Guys, your going to like this one.  D(Drinks)

B x 5D + G x 3D = 2S

So Boy time 5 drinks, plus Girl times 3 drinks… Equal sex two times! This equations is not always accurate, the choice of variable has an effect on the outcome of the (S). The amount of (D) can also change the outcome of the entire equation.

This sexual math stuff can get pretty confusing at times. And situations are going to occur, where there is no solving you sexual math equations. You equations is going to equal to ZERO! Don’t let this discourage you. Eventually you will get it.

Just as geometry and algebra took some practice to fully understand. The same goes for sexual math. You have to find the equations that work for you, doesn’t mean that they will work for everyone you try them on however.

If you really feel that you need a little extra help, get yourself a sexual math tutor. I am sure there are a few out there, ready to lend some assistance to those in need. Who knows. Your closest friend could very well be a sexual mathematician!

If you are patient… I am sure another blog post will be written by yours truly. Who knows! Sexual Math Lessons may start popping up on my YouTube Channel… But we shall have to see about that.

I hope you had as much fun reading this, as I did writing it!

Until next time!

For My Fellas

Here is a little something to help… Attract The (G) needed for your sexual math equation!

For My Ladies

Before your sexual math equations can be put into action… First you must FLIRT with the (B)!

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It’s hard to get over an ex. No one ever tells you–or can tell you–how hard it’s actually going to be. It’s different for everyone. You spend so much of your time with this person, that gets you inside and out. And then, they are gone. Just like that.

Your forced to learn how to be alone. How to cope with the pain they left you with. The pain could be on the surface, or deep inside your core. Whatever the case, pain is pain… It SUCKS! That pain changes who you are as a person.

Things that once brought you joy, no fill your heart with a horrible feeling. Why? Because it reminds you of the one who left you with all this pain. Which in turn makes you hurt more, cause now you are thinking about them.

Loneliness. That’s what your are thrown into. Try as hard as they might, your friends won’t be enough. Your mommy can’t make it better, your dad can’t take the pain away. Nope. Your on your own. This is where breakup survival tips become your aid.

Moving on from that person who once held your heart, is no easy task. Your going to go through hell and back, There are phases to this process. You have to go through the three D’s.

Denial… Depression… Detachment…

Denial: You refuse to believe that they are gone for good. You tell yourself they will come back, but rarely they do. You hold back from moving on, you will resist forgetting about them. Deny, deny, deny.

Depression: Sinking. Sinking way down into this slump. You don’t know who you are, what you want, or what is going to happen. And all of that drives you insane. Alone, with your thoughts. Yeah, that’s bad news.

Detachment: You manage to only think about them here and there… Eventually. Your start to feel a little better. Not having them around becomes easier to swallow. Your not healed, but you are on your way. Healing time can vary…

Luckily, I have been here. I fully understand what it means to go through EVERYTHING described above. I know how much it sucks, and I know all to well how unprepared you are for something like this… So I have some breakup survival tips for you…

These tips were not found on any “How to deal with my breakup” website. These breakup survival were formed from my own personal experiences with this situation. It’s not a guaranteed these tips will fix anything, But I hope they help you.

Tip #1: Keep Yourself Busy! Try new things, and do some of the things you have always wanted to do. Adopt a new hobby, get a workout routine going, or make more time to just hang out with friends. Anything that can occupy your mind will do.

Tip #2: Get To Know YOU! Spend some time alone with yourself. Not just in the quiet, being alone with your sad thought is not good. Read a book. Google something you don’t know anything about, and the results take you on an adventure. That’s fun!

Tip #3: Try not to watch really sappy movies, where the storyline is relevant to your situation. Also, avoid listening to ANY form of breakup music. No matter the genre. I would say Avoid music for a while period. But I think that’s a little limiting.

Tip #4: Don’t take your friends advice to heart. In the end only YOU know what is right for YOU. No one else can do that for you. Listen to what they are saying, but don’t let the sway your mind. The choices we make in life have to be our own.

Tip#5: Forgive!  Forgive them… Forgive yourself… Only then is your mind open enough, so you can decide to learn your lesson, and allow the healing process to begin.

Like I said…

It’s not a guaranteed these breakup survival tips will fix anything. Although, I do hope they give you a little bit of what you need to heal! You have a long road ahead of you, and there are going to be rocks and pot holes. I’ve been there… Your not alone.

If you want a chance to save your relationship… You don’t need breakup survival tips, if you are looking for breakup repair tips … I want to share something with you… The Magic of Making Up can give you that chance.

Whatever the path you choose to take in this type of situation… You don’t have to go into it unprepared!

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Well, in the early stages of a relationship–the honeymoon phase, as they call it–both partners are so blind by passion and lust, they forget to show who they really are. Most relationships don’t reach a “Real” level, until it has been seasoned for about 3-6 months.

That is when the realness starts to breach the surface, and you will start discovering things you never knew. Like she smacks her mouth when she chews her food, and that he clips his toe nails in bed. And also the deeper things… Like the fact that he drinks way too much, and she overreacts all the time. You then have to decide, you either do or you don’t. Ask yourself…

Would you rather be on a teeter totter or on a solid foundation?

Lets take this to an extreme for example purposes. Your with someone for a year and a half, one day your friend comes to you and tells you she saw your significant other cheating. You confront them, they deny  it. A few months go by, you got rid of that friend, and there has been nothing but constant fighting between you and your significant other.

Then the truth finally comes out, you catch them in the act. They beg you to stay, and promises it will never happen again. You love this person, and your relationship means everything to you. But you either do or you don’t, you either want to try and move past the betrayal, or you don’t. Can you forgive, or do you need to let them go.

So now answer my question… Would you rather be on a teeter totter or on a solid foundation? Can you turn the other cheek, and trust that the cheating won’t happen again? Can you deal with the constant questions of are you good enough? Is he/she with friends? Is that girl/guy calling  really a friend? Or would you rather take the painful route, and start over?

If you choose to stay with that person, taking turns keeping the totter teetering. You are not allowed to complain, you chose to make it work. But that wonder and doubt will never leave your mind, try as hard as you might, it will be in your mind somewhere forever. Choosing to start over, leaves more room for possibilities and finding someone who appreciates you!

I am a firm believer in the “Gray Areas” of life. But there are somethings that are black and white. Parts of relationships ARE black and white, you either do or you don’t. If and when things start going bad in your relationship, that is the only choice you have. You either do or you don’t. You can either put up with the bad stuff, or you can’t.

You should never stay with someone who treats you badly, because you love them and they are familiar. You either do or you don’t, those are the choices you have to choose from. THAT’S IT! Life is what YOU make it people, and they way it’s made is based on the decisions you make. Choose wisely, cause as far as we know… You only get one shot at the life you are given.

Make it Count <3

Now, if you and your significant other are just getting into, what I like to call “Nothing Fights.” All you need is a little Magic! With just a little magic, those nothing fights could have a little more space between them. And before you know it, those nothing fights won’t happen at all! Trust me, a little MAGIC is all it takes!

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When suddenly, someone comes along wanting to teeter totter with you. Now the two of you happily go up and down, until one day they decide they are done teetering with you.

Your back to teetering alone on the totter, your feet are on the ground just as before…

However, now there is a feeling of emptiness, something is missing. Before you were perfectly happy teetering alone, now you miss having someone to teeter with. You got comfortable with the idea of not having to teeter totter alone, but now it’s all you have.

Things don’t feel the same, what did you do wrong? Why is it that teetering with you became so unappealing? Did you not totter back properly? These questions and more fill your head up, and make your heart sink into your butt. Now there is this uncontrollable desire to do one of two things…

Find a New Teeter Totter

Your teeter totter was once a happy place, a place where you could just be yourself. Well, that same teeter totter is now rusty and broken. So, you set out looking for a new totter to teeter. You want this totter to already come with someone teetering it. Perhaps that will fill the hole teetering with the last totter left, at least you hope it will.

It takes some time, but you find a totter with a teeter. With hopeful eyes, you approach them… Only to find out that teeter, already has two totters. This happens several times, but in different ways. Some teeter too much, some don’t totter enough. You’ll start to wonder if fining a new teeter totter is a good idea, or just a hopeless waste of time…

You may get lucky, and find a totter worth teetering with. That hole may get smaller, and you find yourself happily teetering once again. However, that fear of losing your new totter could bring the teetering to a stop. If you are lucky enough to find that new totter to teeter with, don’t punish them for what the last totters have done to you!

Fix Your Teeter Totter

That rusty and broken teeter totter, is not in as bad of shape as you think. With a little time on it, the rust can easily be taken off. With a little maintenance, the broken pieces can be fixed. It may be too painful to teeter totter for a while, but in time just sitting on it will start feeling good. Before long, you’ll be happily teetering alone once more.

You don’t need another totter to teeter with, you can do it all by yourself. Yes, you might not go as high… But just being able to teeter alone again, is so empowering that it doesn’t really matter. If you wait patiently, a totter will come along wanting to teeter with you. You can choose to let them, or you can wait for the next one.

You gave yourself time to learn from your last teeter with that totter. The one that broke and rusted your teeter totter, leaving you sitting on the ground frazzled. You can teeter happily and be your own totter. Then when you are ready, you audition totters. That way you can BE SURE, that the next totter you teeter with, teeters with you for a long time!

With all that said…

Ladies and Gentlemen, love is a teeter totter. You never quite know what is going to happen, but be ready for everything that can happen. There’s nothing wrong with teetering alone, and it feels great having someone to teeter with. Both come with their pro’s and con’s. You just have to choose which one is better for you, and understand that decision is subject to change!

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This is supposed to be the time of year where people are in cheerful moods right, well so far I have seen more angry and frustrated people.

So again I ask, tis’ the season for what exactly. And why is it that the older I get, the less I look forward to Christmas? Is it because I no longer get loads and loads of presents? Or is it simply because as we get older, we lose our whimsy for the Christmas season? Personally, I think it is the second one, because presents are not what Christmas is SUPPOSED to be about.

There is all that religious stuff, about Christ being born on Christmas day and yatta yatta. However, I look at the bigger picture. Family and friends coming together to celebrate their love and devotion to one another. Feasting on turkey and stuffing until the belts are undone, and everyone goes into a food coma!

unfortunately, these days more and more people seem to forget about all that. It’s all about the presents that can be bought, and the money that can be spent. Here in Fresno, a tradition for 89 years is over. Christmas Tree Lane will no longer be having any walk night because some idiot didn’t raise their kid right, and he hauled off and stabbed another kid.

People are so selfish these days, so remind me… Tis’ the season for? Apparently, its the season for stabbings, angry drivers, frantic shoppers, and selfish ways. I know that this is turning into a rather depressing post, but I needed to vent. What better place to vent then on my blog, right?

I guess what I am trying to really say, is that Christmas no longer means what it used to. It’s just another holiday, like St. Patrick’s Day and Easter. A day when all the banks are closed, and people wear a lot of red… Hopefully as the world heals, economy wise, so will people. All we can do is hope

I hope I didn’t depress you too much.. Happy Holidays & Merry Christmas!

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That never comes. Kind of depressing huh, well typically that is how the truth goes. It is a harsh reality to face, but the wow factor seems to have gone missing in the world.

Remember, when adults would do that trick where they make it look like their thumb is being detached? Or how about when they would change their facial expression as their had glided up and down in front of their face? They gave us wow as a kid, they entertained and amused us. But somewhere along the line, they didn’t have the same effect anymore.

Only YOU Can Be Your WOW FACTOR!

However, I am left to question… Is it in fact up to us to create our own wow factor in life past a certain age? Is that why we have stages of life, and have to wait for certain ages to do certain activities. I mean yes, as kids we have very little responsibilities, so the wow factors of life came more frequently.

For some reason, I want to say that the wow factors came more sparingly after 8th grade summer. Yeah, that sounds about right…

Cause once you enter high school, there is less wow factor, and much more holly shit factor. Harder homework, bully’s, clicks, rude teachers. Yup, definitely no wow factor in any of that.

So then the answer to my own question would be… YES! After a certain age, it is up to YOU to create your own wow factors of life. As you go through life, make sure to set some time aside here and there to create wow factors. Perhaps involve your friends and family, maybe even a someone special if it applies. Bottom line… Be your own WOW FACTOR!!!

Till Next Time,

Kristi Riley

*This post is dedicated to my BEST FRIEND Samantha Walker. With Her in my life, the wow factors come easily and frequently! I love you Sammy!*

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